PJ – “Nothingman”

When Pearl Jam’s “Vitalogy” album was released in 1994, I wore it the fuck out. I thought the song “Nothingman” impacted me then.

Pearl Jam's
Pearl Jam’s “Vitalogy” (1994)
Who knew that 22 years later, I’d fully recognize why.

The true inkling of “Nothingman” awareness began… I want to say November-ish of about 2012, when listening to the song whilst walking on my treadmill. I had one of the first of what I like to call “a Flash”… (and I’ll never look at white/black/red plaid flannel the same ever again.)

“Flash” forward (guffaw, guffaw) to a month ago or so, when the song in its entirety became crystal clear to me in that “Well, I’ll be damned” kind of way.

Not that gaining this knowledge has helped me in any way. Hm. Well… Maybe it has? I did gain insight, but it’s the kind of knowledge that… perhaps one must wait and see just how it’s supposed to be helpful. Cause as yet, it only makes me shake my head and think, I’m in Twin Flame Hell.


“Once divided… nothing left to subtract…
Some words when spoken… can’t be taken back…
Walks on his own… with thoughts he can’t help thinking…
Future’s above… but in the past, he’s slow and sinking…
Caught a bolt ‘a lightnin’… cursed the day he let it go…

Nothingman…
Nothingman…
Isn’t it something?
Nothingman…

She once believed… in every story he had to tell…
One day she stiffened… took the other side…
Empty stares… from each corner of a shared prison cell…
One just escapes… one’s left inside the well…
And he who forgets… will be destined to remember…

Nothingman…
Nothingman…
Isn’t it something?
Nothingman…

Oh, she don’t want him…
Oh, she won’t feed him… after he’s flown away…
Oh, into the sun… ah, into the sun…
Burn… burn…
Nothingman…
Nothingman…
Isn’t it something?
Nothingman…
Nothingman…
Coulda’ been something…
Nothingman…
Oh…ohh…ohh…”

I wonder if I’ll ever get to see just what happens. Will he — whom is admittedly forgetful — remember? Remember in time to do anything about it? Enjoy it? And I wonder if he’ll remember soon enough in that I’ll still care? Too late? I really don’t know. Some days, I believe he is aware… and others… I believe he just flies away into the sun because even that burn is easier to take, to hold, to live with than the lightning in his grasp.

And so to and fro the pendulum goes… But that’s a Pearl Jam song for another post. πŸ˜‰

BDay!

I can’t get over how incredible my 4 kids are. Such love and such art! 😊

From Marie:

Snow Leopard Mom & Babies by Marie Brunkhorst
Snow Leopard Mom & Babies by Marie Brunkhorst

Snow Leopard Mom & Babies by Marie Brunkhorst
Snow Leopard Mom & Babies by Marie Brunkhorst
Snow Leopard Mom & Babies by Marie Brunkhorst
Snow Leopard Mom & Babies by Marie Brunkhorst

From Mina:

“Mom vs. Chump”

From Marlen:

Cat-Griz Stealth Mask by Marlen Brunkhorst
Cat-Griz Stealth Mask by Marlen Brunkhorst

From Mokeem:

Hand o' Mo by Mokeem Brunkhorst
Hand o’ Mo by Mokeem Brunkhorst

I made fresh cheese tortellini with chunks of lobster tail, scallops, & whole shrimp with fresh cilantro and pesto garnished with grated parmesan, salad with cherry tomatoes, cukes, and organic “Spring greens”, and yellow cake with fudge icing with French vanilla ice cream for our birthday celebration dinner. Very tasty. 😊 Kids sang an… interesting rendition of “Happy Birthday to You”, LOL… And I’m grateful that I’ll never be able to unhear that. LOL… πŸ˜‰

My children are the very best daily gift I’ve ever been presented.
I am blessed. πŸ’™β€οΈπŸ’šπŸ’›