Sorry about the Rumpelstiltskin-esque tantrum in my previous post. Twin Flame Issues. When the ride is bumpy, sometimes I feel there’s nothing else you can do but jump up and down in a hissy fit and scream.
That solves nothing, of course. But sometimes it helps by releasing a tiny bit of the pressure. (Not really.)
What needs to be understood is that I’ve been dealing with this cursed petrification for years. I think I’ve tried everything in the Good Way that I’m capable of doing… to no avail. And now I’m witnessing the devastation of what won’t be without even so much as hearing why. I’m a strong person; I can cope with just about anything. But knowing why? makes it an issue of respect and care. It certainly makes it easier for me to do the difficult and excruciating task of stepping back and walking away. Huh. Makes me wonder then… Guess someone doesn’t want that Finality.
At this point though… The cake is gone. TFB. Sink or swim, motherfucker.
Speaking of Swimming…
Remember my post about seeing a whale tail cloud formation? Well, I’m the half of the Twin Flame pair who gets and accepts it. Who recognizes our Connection for the true Blessing it is, even as I’m forced to feel it in mono rather than stereo surround. Part of being the Recognizer is not ducking Signs when Shown them. Couldn’t get much bigger than a whale tail. Come on: It’s a WHALE. ? ?
So in honor of that (among other things which I’m not going to share cause I don’t know ya’ll) Most Excellent “Girl Who Likes to Color” Kimri ? at Element Tattoo in Bozeman, Montana, hooked me up as she so often does (cause she Rocks.)
Never let it be said that I don’t adore my Guardian Angels.They forever have my back and are constantly looking out for me and mine and seen and felt evidence of Their protection for years.
That said… Don’t think for a minute your sweet, Sacred Peeps don’t have a sense of humor. Those who watch my back (while They’re real big on playing with numbers and have been hitting me up with the #33 like it owes them money these last 2 days) — when They aren’t making like “The Count” from Sesame Street — are ridiculously “Hey, Mr. DJ.”
Today’s song (now added to my Twin Flames Playlist) played for me (and by “played”, I mean repeated on loop for however long my Divine DJs feel like it?) by my Special Spinners? “She’s Got You” – Patsy Cline. No doubt because I’ve been working on this hardcore book editing project and the depth of feeling the author has for this particular man that she shares is intense… and it’s very difficult to pull out of the place it sends me once I’m in it.
And after seeing someone this morning that brought it all just that much closer?
For as far back as I can remember, I’ve always been a cloud reader. As a child, I’d spend hours gazing up into the sky, identifying the images formed by clouds. I did this even unconsciously as I floated in water, climbed my favorite tree, lay on the grass and basked in sunshine. Even last night; I noticed a cloud shaped in a whale’s tail when a whale lifts its tail out of the water (complete with water) and I can’t understand why the person I pointed it out to didn’t see it. It was so patently obvious to me that the cloud formed a whale’s tail and he absolutely could not see it that it forced me to realize that my way of thinking (Mercury in Pisces) was categorically alien to his (Mercury in Sagittarius) and always had been and always would be. It also emphasized how very alone I feel on this planet right now.
Songwriter and recording artist, Sia, has a song called “Elastic Heart” (listed in my Twin Flames playlist) that I love because (the piano/acoustic version) is so powerful and I resemble that reflection. Now I know my heart stretches in all directions, and is remarkably irrepressible. But lately, I find myself wondering… Yes, the heart is elastic, but how resilient is the Soul?
I feel melancholy in this space in time because I’m working on a challenging project; editing and formatting a love story that wasn’t, and there are over a thousand pages of such purely expressed but not shared feeling that wading through it is daunting and leaves my soul so sad because I know this hurt. So I turned to the sky – as I often do – for renewed strength and guidance, and was struck with a cloud memory: Last year, during an exceptionally painful and personal time, I looked up and saw three letters. And as I gaped in disbelief at those three letters, hope infused my soul… and that joy of Please, yes, seeded… took root. And I had to take a picture because I could barely believe it myself. Unfortunately, it took me too long to realize I could take a picture (yay, cell phone) that by the time my stunned self snapped it, Nature’s breeze already disrupted the formation (as you can see.) But I know it was there; I still can make out the initials even drifted as they are in the photo.
Clouds have always steered me in the Right Direction of Hope and My Destined Life’s Path. Back in 1996, just a week before I met my former husband and father of my children, I was in Glacier, got a “Nudge” and looked up to see clouds formed in a “15”. Then the five breezed off to show the “One” by itself before it too, shifted into wisps of white mist. “15” in Numerology equals “6”, which is my Destiny number. “15” also happens to be the day of his birth, and the five drifted off to show me that I would meet him in “1” week (which I did.)
Yet this time… For the first time, I feel uncertainty because it feels like so much time passed since I saw that monogram in the sky, and… nothing. Nothingman. I know the “future’s above”… but it seems too much as though “he’s slow and sinking”.
I don’t know. I just don’t know this time. My Soul feels thin and fragile; I understand too well what the writer of those 1,000+ pages went through, is going through.
The whale is symbolic of that which cannot be easily vanquished — just as a person’s inner truth, voice, and creativity cannot be easily silenced or subdued.
It seems my Sacred Peeps answered me They faithfully do, just took me a bit longer to understand Their message to me: The whale is commonly associated with emotion, inner truth, and creativity. Here are additional meanings:
Physical and emotional healing
Keeper of history
Importance of family and community
You won’t see me swallowed whole; I have an elastic Soul. ?