A few years ago, someone dear to my heart said to me that he loved all of the songs on Pearl Jam’s Backspacer album, except for “The End”. At the time, I laughed and said that I couldn’t ever think of it without thinking of The Doors’ song of the same name, so it blurred for me. What it boiled down to was that he and I would listen to the album save for that one song.
Fast-forward to present day.
Recently, I started listening to all of my Pearl Jam songs on shuffle play, in order to force myself to pay attention to and really hear those songs that weren’t known to me as “my favorites”. In all fairness, this equates to roughly 14 albums, 165 songs, and 11 hours of music. Just Pearl Jam. So yeah, don’t have all of them memorized. Many, but not all. Perhaps if Pearl Jam was to “come back” to Montana… *et hem* and play a few shows…?
Anyway…
Sharp. Painful. Cuts through some serious bullshit and reaches right in and stabs swords through your heart… Yeah, a good song. And after experiencing the unanticipated collapse of my own marriage, I can certainly see why one would instinctively shy away from it as it certainly targets all those excruciating emotions one goes through pre-, during, and post-divorce, especially if one is actually going through that (any kind of) breakup.
What were all those dreams we shared
Those many years ago?
What were all those plans we made
Now left beside the road?
Behind us in the road
More than friends I always pledged
Cause friends they come and go
People change as does everything
I wanted to grow old
Just want to grow old
Yeah… I can see why my friend – who was in the middle of a divorce at the time (I wasn’t) – would say he skips that song at the time.
Don’t leave me so cold
Or buried beneath the stones
I just want to hold on
And know I’m worth your love
Enough
I don’t think
There’s such a thing
It is hard to listen to; add to it the raw ache in Eddie Vedder’s wonderful voice? Intense. Very intense.
Yet Endings bring about New Beginnings.
Myself, I’ve been spending this last year since my divorce – my own “The End” – looking within and discovering how to mend what was broken, discard what can’t be repaired, and figure out just exactly what I want for the betterment of myself, my children, and my world as a whole.
Basically, I’ve been doing this:
The definitive End of one aspect of Life brings Transformation and Forced Change leading to Rebirth and a stronger sense of Independent Self. With the Goal of wonderful New Beginnings leading to Self Victory.
Many of you may have different ideas on how you want to reach your proverbial Gold Ring ? after you’ve reached The End and have recovered enough to face transforming what’s ended into a new beginning for yourself. However, that’s likely based on how you wired your soul before being born on this particular planet – which is a discussion for another time, another post. Maybe if I feel like it. ?
…22/26, 22/26, 22/26…