Don’t know about yours, but my Angels are DJs. Yes, They do the repeating numbers thing, and the often, yet when I brush the numbers aside (because Reasons), that’s when They break out Their album collection. (They know it’s much more difficult to ignore an ear worm.) Between Them and the Energy in the air, I opened to Listen. The song on loop today? “Listen to Your Heart” – Roxette. 🎶
Now, I haven’t paid attention to this songs lyrics… Not even when I would sing along when it first came out. But when my Sacred DJs spin, I look them up:
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
I’ve learned a lot about Forgiveness in the last year; learned a lot about what’s truly important, why I experienced certain things, and how I intend to work with the results of these lessons.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
They’re swept away and nothing is what is seems,
The feeling of belonging to your dreams
Sometimes it’s difficult to reach out to someone, especially to apologize, especially when they aren’t communicating with you due to road blocks you set up. It’s also difficult to do when personalities are Stubborn, and likely with innate relationship/communication/ self-love issues. It isn’t easy to admit you were wrong, you fucked up on a general basis; to own it after making basically a dramatic, public declaration of falsehoods? How much internal debate must occur before you can risk that reach-out?
Looks like a lot of Truth stepped into some emotions, lot of healing and thinking… Lot of “should I/shouldn’t I” taking place… Yet some small message has the potential to occur. Some form of reaching out to communicate, to assist in self-healing, or resolution of a situation causing emotional disturbance. It is a small one (Page of Cups 🍷), yet sometimes the best things come in small packages. Sometimes, all you need is the door opened a crack. Give a little, to get a lot.
A person caused great harm due to a third-party situation or influence, which triggered a disruption in the Cycle, the Plan, or Contract. This, in turn, helped bring about a move for the other party that was something they’d been working towards for a long while (perhaps 3 years), leading to better opportunities for that person. The actions of the King of Swords ⚔ helped that person to learn more about themselves, see into the situation, and accept the Lesson(s). On some level, this is also reflected back into that King of Swords ⚔, and he, too, has lesson(s) to learn… All which will help begin a fresh start, one based in Love, with a greater sense of Self Love.
This last reading shows, ultimately, that yes, communication is possible and in your ultimate best interest, if you walk away from what you invested in, emotionally, in a negative way. Doors will open – choices – leading to ways you can profit more than just financially, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Your Soul will heal and grow. But you have to stop thinking about it, and take that first step – do it. Reach out. You have the tools and the means. #JustDoIt
That’s all I have to say about that.
And there are voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can’t find the words
The sense of magic, the beauty that’s been
When love was wilder than the wind
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going and I don’t know why,
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
A few years ago, someone dear to my heart said to me that he loved all of the songs on Pearl Jam’s Backspacer album, except for “The End”. At the time, I laughed and said that I couldn’t ever think of it without thinking of The Doors’ song of the same name, so it blurred for me. What it boiled down to was that he and I would listen to the album save for that one song.
Fast-forward to present day.
Recently, I started listening to all of my Pearl Jam songs on shuffle play, in order to force myself to pay attention to and really hear those songs that weren’t known to me as “my favorites”. In all fairness, this equates to roughly 14 albums, 165 songs, and 11 hours of music. Just Pearl Jam. So yeah, don’t have all of them memorized. Many, but not all. Perhaps if Pearl Jam was to “come back” to Montana… *et hem* and play a few shows…?
Anyway… Shuffling my Pearl Jam songs reacquainted me with “The End”, and I found myself playing it on loop for a while, wondering why I’d initially let it go. It’s a really good song. Poignant.
Sharp. Painful. Cuts through some serious bullshit and reaches right in and stabs swords through your heart… Yeah, a good song. And after experiencing the unanticipated collapse of my own marriage, I can certainly see why one would instinctively shy away from it as it certainly targets all those excruciating emotions one goes through pre-, during, and post-divorce, especially if one is actually going through that (any kind of) breakup.
What were all those dreams we shared
Those many years ago?
What were all those plans we made
Now left beside the road?
Behind us in the road
More than friends I always pledged
Cause friends they come and go
People change as does everything
I wanted to grow old
Just want to grow old
Yeah… I can see why my friend – who was in the middle of a divorce at the time (I wasn’t) – would say he skips that song at the time.
Don’t leave me so cold
Or buried beneath the stones
I just want to hold on
And know I’m worth your love
I don’t think
There’s such a thing
It is hard to listen to; add to it the raw ache in Eddie Vedder’s wonderful voice? Intense. Very intense.
Yet Endings bring about New Beginnings.
Myself, I’ve been spending this last year since my divorce – my own “The End” – looking within and discovering how to mend what was broken, discard what can’t be repaired, and figure out just exactly what I want for the betterment of myself, my children, and my world as a whole.
Basically, I’ve been doing this:
Working hard to clear through the clutter and devastation that’s left post-breakup, cutting through sorrow and heartache, bad habits and doubt, to leave that all emotional baggage behind and move into smoother, clearer water towards rebirth of Self and a new life.
The definitive End of one aspect of Life brings Transformation and Forced Change leading to Rebirth and a stronger sense of Independent Self. With the Goal of wonderful New Beginnings leading to Self Victory.
Causing you to create plans and use the Good Energy of Self to call forth healthy new relationships with a mutually strong emotional and physical base (to each their own; replace my Queen of Wands and King of Cups with your own pick out of the Court Cards here, lol).
Being brave and taking risks; Opening your heart to the Stars to Guide you to choose mutual and reciprocal healthy relationships with others, and being selective in the Good Way to welcome in the True Love – who may not be perfect but who is perfect for you – into your Life, your home, your Universe.
Because as Human Beings (for the most part), we are naturally social creatures who crave Connection. Yet in order to be that Powerfully Connected Pairing, even Soul Mates need Honesty and a 2-flow loop Communication in order to be strong and thrive, to live in their ideal Happily Ever After, with True Sharing and True Caring… Even if the Truth hurts sometimes (hey, the Sun gives life, yet it also burns, right, “Nothingman”?)
After my “The End”, this is the Journey I’m undertaking. This is what Matters to me and what I’ve learned you actually can take with you. Certainly looks much easier in the picture. ? But it isn’t a race and I keep my Eye on my idea of the Prize.
Many of you may have different ideas on how you want to reach your proverbial Gold Ring ? after you’ve reached The End and have recovered enough to face transforming what’s ended into a new beginning for yourself. However, that’s likely based on how you wired your soul before being born on this particular planet – which is a discussion for another time, another post. Maybe if I feel like it. ?